So apparently humans have a Children’s Day today, and I thought it would apply to you as well.

I know you’ve been sad we lost Panzerfaust, so I thought I’d give you a replacement for that inconsolable loss. You can even name him.


Hey that’s nice!

Waaaaaaait a second, I’m not a ch-

/Insert very girlish scream here/


*Onslaught gives him a small nod and continues to be mostly unfazed by everything except the fact that this Drift person seems to be almost likeable to him so far. He doesn’t show it, though.*

The ones making the most sense? Well, well, that sounds exactly like what I would expect a mad mech to say.


/He drags the note melodiously before finishing it with a loud, cheery clap of his hands./

… noone said the whole reality thing is completely sane either! But you don’t strike me as the type of the guy who would love to discuss the metaphysical sense of the universe~

So what’s your deal, Onslaught? Can’t say the name of your boysband ring any bells.

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*He shrugs off the ‘not the fanciest’ part; no offense taken. After all even the fanciest frame helps little to win a battle.*

Impressive conclusion. So going by this logic, you must be from the mirror universe where the Autobots are - without exception - stark raving mad. That’s good to know, Drift.


/He sounds surprised to hear that. Not that it was far from truth, more like he wasn’t expecting it to come up so soon in the conversation. Their reputation in the multiverse precedes them./

That’s one way of putting it. For a change, I like to think that we are the ones making the most sense of this whole multidimensional mess.

It was never something special over here. Mechs drop in, drop out. Mostly drop in. Once they’re dead they can’t really move. 

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::Doesn’t seem like much party to begin with, unless you know… you like the duty and honor crowd…:: Percy looked at another inscription and smirked. ::…well, at least we know for a fact it’s gonna be an improvement.” he shrugged. 

::Riiiight, can you see any volunteers~?:: 

/He moved even closer to the hatches, nearly hugging the wall in order to read the effaced inscriptions. They couldn’t pick just any random corpse! That could ruin everything!/

/Squinting his optics he carefully read every name on the hatches placed in the vertical line. His digits trailed the engraved names until he suddenly made a loud “AHAH!” noise and busted the flap open with his hidden in the frame combat knife. With one swift motion he pulls out the oblong metal coffin, not caring much about the loud metallic bang it makes upon hitting the flooring. Another swing of the knife, one solid kick and the coffin’s lid falls to the side making even more noise./

And there we have our first volunteer~! Meet Blastkicker! Ready to try to give life a kick again!

/Drift laughs excitedly and leans over the coffin, resting one of his legs on the edge of it to get a better look at their soon-to-be screamer. The body despite the obvious signs of rust has been in good condition. The large gaping hole in Blastkicker’s midsection gave away that the poor fellow kicked the bucket thanks to a blast that went through his body. Nonetheless there was enough of dead parts for dark energon to work./

Ah, I still got the touch~ He’s just perfect!

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*Onslaught stares blankly for a while. This mech almost sounds like Swindle. Almost a little too much, actually.*

Drift. A…pleasure to meet you. My designation is Onslaught. Leader of the Combaticons. I have never heard of you before, am I right in assuming that you are a mech from another dimension?

Pleasure is all mine~

And that depends which universe are you thinking about. Because by the process of elimination I an tell you’re not from that spiky one with lizard dogs, nor you’re from the one where the other me resides.Your frame isn’t the fanciest if you’ll excuse the wording.

I see you sporting a Decepticon insignia yet your paintjob doesn’t poke optics out so the only logical conclusion is, that you’re from that other universe, where decepticons are the bad guys and Autobots are actually the good guys.

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Greetings, to whom am I speaking?

Oh! Oh! A new face! (Or rather a lack of it pfff hahahah!)

/He giggles and bows fashionably./

Drift, mercenary extraordinaire~ You have the g-…. wait.

I had a good and catchy marketing line but I think I forgot it at the moment. It will probably come back later.

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::…which I would be tempted to take as a compliment except the way you keep bumping into all sides of this vent makes me think you see next to nothing anyway…:: darker bot smirked, shaking his head. ::We’re almost there, if the data is still accurate…:: he much doubted anyone would bother to move corpses around, but hey. You never know.

From where they were it was just a small crawl down one of the side tunnels and they should be above a corridor right next to the first proper stop on their little adventure. He moved past the vent, scanners didn’t pick up any signals of nearby activity, so he opened the crate carefully.

::After you~::

/Drift huffed audibly and slid down the crate, landing on his knees and looking around the room carefully. The mortuary was a really big chamber shrouded in semi-darkness. The walls were adorned with hatches storing the fallen warriors inside, some covered by the simple metal coffins stacked one on another when they started running out of place./


/Red grunts over the comm and straightens up, inching closer to the hatches sticking out of the walls. He tilts his helmet curiously reading the stamped into the little metal plates memorials for the fallen mechs./

::Here rests Rustsack, died protecting what is left of our home. Pfffff.:: /He snorts in amusement./ ::Surely he rusts in peace, or several pieces in fact. Judging by the date. Oooh~ This guy was called Twistermatcher! I’d shoot myself in the face too if I had a lame name like that. Poor guy~ I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a guy named Swiss Knife. Makes you wonder if he’d come in handy.::

::Helloooo? Anyone theeeere? Meh.:: /He knocks on one of the hatches playfully giggling to himself, but after getting no answer he takes a step back and turns around on his heel looking out for his partner./ ::So what? Ready to resurrect this party?::

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::It’s usually you who does the squeezing tho~:: Percy grinned. ::I only do when it’s absolutely necessary.:: he stopped abruptly, examining something on the bottom of the vent in front of him.

::Alright, we’re here…:: a damped metalic sound followed, and Percy carefully lowered himself to the maintenance tunnel. There wasn’t much light here either, and the area looked more or less deserted. He looked up, waiting for Drift, and then carefully studying the surroundings. There were still some emergency lights on, and a few panels here and there suggested they could use it to narrow down their path choice. And, apart from the sounds they were making, it was completely silent.

/Drift let out a very frustrated sound before descending into the tunnel. This time he had more space to move around but it still seemed quite tight, it would be great to just get over it with this part of the mission. It was so ironic how such a little detail, like size, could take away the pleasure of sneaking into the enemy’s territory./

::How far is our exit?:: 

/He asked after a longer while, almost bumping into his partner who stopped, probably to check up the map again. Drift tried to adjust his optics more to the darkness but he could only see some basic black shapes, pitch black holes on their sides could suggest that they came across one of the tunnel’s intersections./

::Your aft is very lovely but a change of scenery would be nice.::


::As you can see~:: Drift’s approach was only marked by the glow of his optics moving towards the other mercenary. He switched to com, as they already passed below the outer wall.

::There should be a maintenance tunnel running below. We’ll probably have a bit more space once we move there and we can verify our plans if we find something working and connected to the mainframe… doesn’t seem like there are any security sensors around here, so we can move freely for now…:: he hummed silently, checking the data again.

::Squeezing again?::

/He whined staying close to his partner with his optics stuck on the others back reflecting the white light of his optics. When it came to moving around in the dark Perceptor was better, mostly because of his fancy visor and Drift forgot where did he put in his goggles. Revision of his subspace sounded like a pretty good idea./

::I appreciate the fact that I can reach the stuff on the highest shelf right now, but I admire you for being able to squeeze through tunnels with a size like this.::


botofbanter liked your photooohoho~ Pillowfight? Pillowfight!!! Who vants to join? You zrow ze…”

Ohhh I remember zat signal signature~ You!! You definitely vant to join, amIrite schatzi? ~ahahhaa

Sup, fun-face~

I’m always up for some good parties, and pillow fights sounds interesting. Are there any regulations for the stuff the pillows should be stuffed with?

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